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Send
humorous insults to
your enemies, friends, or family |
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|
Step
1: Choose an insult to send. |
 your mother told you to go buy a color television and you asked, "What color?" [send] that if you got locked in a grocery store, you'd starve to death! [send] you thought a quarterback was a refund. [send] that you think 'harass' is two words. [send] you looked in the mirror and said, "Who's that?" [send] you put a quarter in a parking meter and started shouting, "Hey! Where's my gumball!?" [send] that when your crack was stolen, you reported it to the police! [send] you need a recipe to boil water. [send] that when you hit rock bottom, you started to dig! [send] that you looked in a bowl of cheerios and said..."O LOOK, DONUT SEEDS!"' [send] you stuck a battery up your butt and said, "I got the power." [send] you threw a quarter and thought the eagle on it would fly. [send] you can't have a heated blanket or you will electrocute yourself. [send] you climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side! [send] when you got a haircut you put a band-aid on it. [send] you got caught drunk-driving at the bumper cars. [send] you asked the pharmascist how they get the little prescription bottles into the typewriters. [send] you tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window. [send] when you had a brainstorm it was just a drizzle. [send] that when your coach said go out there and break a leg , you went out there an broke both of them to impress your coach. [send] You bought a solar powered flashlight! [send] You have a drawer for your "right socks", and a drawer for [send] you chase parked cars [send] if brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose. [send] you cant dial 911 because theres no '11' on your phone [send] you have 2 brains, ones lost the others lookin for it [send] You thought you needed a token to get on the soul train [send] it took you two hours to watch 60 minutes [send] You jumped into the gene pool when the life guard wasnt lookin. [send] you send faxes with stamps on them [send] You think a quarterback is a refund. [send] You try to put M&Ms in alphabetical order [send] You think Eartha Kit is a set of garden tools. [send] You though Boyz II Men was a daycare center. [send] You thought General Motors was in the army. [send] You thought meaw mix was a CD for cats. [send] you thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. [send] You tried to drown a fish [send] you tripped over a cordless phone [send] You spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate". [send] you got stabbed in a shoot-out. [send] they had to burn the school down to get you out of third grade. [send] at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," you put "Sagittarius". [send] you asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. [send] you studied for a blood test-and failed. [send] you sold the car for gas money [send] when you saw the movie rating "NC-17: under 17 not admitted", you went home and got 16 friends. [send] when you heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, you moved [send] you missed the 44 bus, and took the 22 bus twice instead. [send] you went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left", you turned around and went home. [send] |
